please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
