i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
