i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
