Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
