Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
