I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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