Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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