O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
