Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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