you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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