Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
