So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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