My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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