He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
