if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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