Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
