thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
