first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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