dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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