Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
