Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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