i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
