i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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