he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
