i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
