hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
