Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
