i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
