just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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