if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Who died my cat blue again?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
