it's not cheating when I paid for it
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
