one might say we're banned from that church
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
