She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
