Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
