WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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