Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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