Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
