i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
