I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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