this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
