he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
