Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
