i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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