My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
