I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
