She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
