just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
my being single is dangerous.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We need a shit load of segways right now
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
