Don't you send me to vm
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
