just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
