I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
