rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
