There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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