So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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