In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
well you can't waste a boner
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
