Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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