You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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