Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
